Dromornis stirtoni

2:57am Monday

2009-03-16T02:41:00.002+08:00

I do not deny it, I am shit scared.

Scared of the familiar loneliness, scared of standing on my own feet. Scared of going back to my irregular lifestyle, scared of the responsibility of taking care of myself.

I am scared of the dark shadow of the tornado ahead, even more scared that when it comes and swallows me right up, you will be too far to save me.

It will come and engulf me in. I will be swamped but come out whole.

Old dog just cannot learn new tricks

2009-03-08T14:36:00.004+08:00

We make ourselves believe that we set goals and work ourselves towards making us a better, wiser being, but of course that is just our foolish self talking.

Or rather, my foolish self talking.

My apple Mail is slowly updating itself (still 3254 mails to go!), and this has given me a chance to refresh my good old university memories. (Old...definitely, many - a lot of- events I have forgotten completely; Good...not so much, it feels more like peeling old healed scabs actually.)

Here's an excerpt of a mail from an ex-suitor:

"On the other hand (and please do not be offended by this ...), I must say that you can be cold and fearsome at times, which is another reason why I was scared of ringing you. I know I talk too much, but by the same token, you talk too little, which is why I have to talk so much and sometimes even repeat old materials so we don't get stuck in an awkward atmosphere. ... And please...reply your SMS Messages..."

4 years, 2 degrees and many worn out high heels later, I am still "cold", "talking too little" and not replying my SMSs

Conversation With Charles

2006-12-02T19:29:00.000+08:00

大哥大哥，問你哦：如果你車上載著人，而場面冷掉的話，你會怎麼辦？

"那要看是我討厭的人還是我喜歡的人啊。"

假使是討厭的人呢？

＂那就繼續給他冷下去啊。＂

喜歡的人勒？

＂男的女的？＂

男的。

＂同性哦？就問他興趣啊、私人方面的事情吧。＂

如果是女的呢？

＂女的？！那還用說。　我會講： Me, man. You, woman. Ho-te-ru???"

ㄟ....那如果是你不討厭也不喜歡的人怎麼辦？

＂那就跟他說一個北極熊在北極拔毛的故事囉...."

%$#%@#

2006-11-26T20:43:00.000+08:00

I am adjusting to something new.

Ok, not exactly 'new'. I should say, I am re-adjusting to the siutation. The siutation is, I need to learn to deal with PMS on my own.

With nobody to whine to, to yell at, to play my puppy face to, to ask for hot chocolate or maccas or pancakes etc from, PMS is all of a sudden a great torture. Too great for me to handle.

Yet, I know I can do it. After all, I did it when I was much younger, didn't I?

Daily

2006-10-29T23:38:00.000+08:00

我每天會開一段94.3km的路程。

「行千里路，勝讀萬卷書」不是沒有道理的。　　在這半年中，　我在路途上的所見所聞，　我相信在社區圖書館中的任何一本書裡都找不著。　　（是的，社區圖書館真的不大...)

像紅綠燈拒絕亮燈這回事，其實是見怪不怪的（It is not necessarily a bad thing, depending on the direction my car is heading). 倒是一展交通燈上面紅燈綠燈同時亮，才讓我佩服。　　佩服的是車水馬龍的十字路口沒有一部車顯露出分毫的猶疑：油門踩的穩穩的，距離方向拿捏的準準的搶腳踏車寬的空隙...好個臨危不亂！

在高速公路上更是令人眼界大開。　　從路肩上有阿伯騎著摩托車緩緩的逆向行駛，　到內線道上的完整狗屍，　到隔壁線道超我車的發財車駕駛位窗口悠悠閑閑晃出來的一隻赤裸腳ㄚ。　個人印象最深刻的是某早晨眼睜睜的看到一個半人大小的布娃娃（有臉有頭髮還穿著衣服的那一種）從前面車窗掉落出來...好險那時嘴巴是閉著的，才沒讓心臟的跳出體外。

每天這樣的路上，當然不是全然緊張刺激的，優美浪漫的夜景也是很重要的一項。就像每一篇被讀爛的小說，　經歷了一番努力、成長及冒險，總是有個優美溫馨的ending...我的夜景剛好也扮演著這樣的角色。　（有否＂努力、成長及冒險＂是另一回事）　從高高的橋上看到市區的閃亮繁華，再順著交流道緩緩駛入，這時的心情總是特別輕鬆。　　我想，　當聖誕老公公駕馭著他的麋鹿大隊，　從天空降到靜寂的屋頂上，　也是這樣的心情吧！　　　　

He knows

2006-09-17T14:34:00.000+08:00

「一個快三十歲的人，深夜裡枕邊可以沒有人抱著睡，但床邊不可以沒有一罐殺蟲劑。」
-- 張維中

www.blogger.com

2006-09-17T14:32:00.000+08:00

What is the one sure sign to tell me I really have been neglecting this space?

When I can no longer remember the blogger.com url to login into.

No topic

2006-07-18T09:26:00.000+08:00

People seem to think that I have forgotten my blog. Just to set the facts straight, I have not. In fact, I come here more often than you think, to make sure that the links are not disabled because nobody ever visits my blog anymore, and also to wait for the day my blog finally give up on me updating it, and decids to update itself. (Well, it is all about automation these days, isn't it?)

The day has not come yet. Stupid slow learning blog.

Danger in bathroom

2006-06-07T14:45:00.000+08:00

I heard on the radio this morning, in an interview with a cardiologist from NTU Hospital that it can cause strain on our hearts if we, um, 'squeeze' too hard while excreting.

That would logically mean then, you are more at risk from heart attacks with the more severe cases of constipation?

All the more reason to eat fiber.

Random Mumble

2006-06-02T07:21:00.000+08:00

I just have this one thing to say:

PLEEEEEEASE let the indicator lights stay orange!!

I mean, the blue, fluorescent ones are ok...annoyingly showing off (no, I am not jealous...I like my old, ordinary, boring indicators fine), but ok. The red ones however, I absolutely cannot stand. I can never tell whether the driver is about to stop the car, or about to cut into my lane.

On second thought, there is no ground for my argument to stand, since the concepts of indicator lights, or lanes are extremely abstract here in Taiwan.

Ughh. Codes.

2006-04-28T07:09:00.000+08:00

I don't believe in paper coding. At all.

I don't mean pseudocodes. In fact, I like pseudocodes (interestingly, I NEVER forget the semicolons while pseudocoding) ...they are great for logic planning, as well as killer ice breakers if you want to get into the circle of the computer minded/geeks/nerds. I mean, if you go up to an engineer and say "Hey, knock knock?", you could well receive a cold puzzling oh-my-gosh-some-psycho-is-talking-to-me look. Hence you need to speak the same language:

{

printf("Knock knock");
gets(response);
if(response=="Who's there?")
{
joke();
}
else
{
printf("Oh my gosh, you just plain don't get Knock knocks, do you?");
give_up_socialising( );
}

}

Anyway, as I was complaining, paper coding. Yes, what is up with that? Honestly, I don't believe in coding without at least 1 reference book next to you and 2 browser windows opened (one on API, and another to Google). Then of course, you need plenty of room for hair pulling, Doritto grabbing, whatever else to take your attention off the code and lastly, a huge screen long enough to display the millions of compilation errors without having to press the PgDn button (yet to be produced). Pen and paper coding simply does not work.

Why am I complaining? Well, I could very well be asked to paper code in C/C++/JAVA which I claimed I could do in the next 2 hours. Wish me luck.

(By luck, I mean be able walk out there with grace, as opposed to being thrown out with good bye and never see you again)

It's the thought that counts, absolutely

2006-04-22T06:58:00.000+08:00

The year has been rather geological for me, present-receiving wise.

Having received sand for Christmas, I am now told to expect a rock for my birthday. Not the pretty kind, the desert kind.

People! Stop with the creativity already! Diamonds and rubys will do just fine.

P.S. By the way, I love the sand. They sit on the most obvious spot of my desk. If it comes across to you that I am mocking my sand, you are so mistaken. I am mocking the rock.

Tech Review

2006-04-20T16:27:00.000+08:00

Charles' favourite gadget of the moment is the brand new, silver sleek, 3 speed,dual temperature hair dryer.

Not impressed yet? Well, this little baby blows out ions! Or contains ions in the air it blows out, or the air it blows out is produced by ions (huh?)....or something.

(To do with ions)

I have personally tested the hair dryer myself, and I can swear to my not-much-looked-after hair to say this, it blows out both warm and not so warm air.

Maybe it takes quicker to dry my hair than the conventional dryers, but I really would not know since I usually air dry my hair anyway. Charles insisted that by having ions blown into my hair, the hair is not damaged. I don't quite understand the relationship between ions and healthy hair but truth be told, I don't buy it one bit. As for his hair? Well, they are short and curly (shh...officially they are *not*) and never look the same after each sleep he takes, so that is as helpful an indication as ion-blowing Buddy and see what happens.*

Well, Charles' last favourite toy was this rice cooker which he would have hugged to sleep had I not warned him about the possible midnight cockroach visits due to the leftover rice inside. So I am actually happy he has moved on.

*Actually what will happen is that Buddy will whine, with the most mournful expression on his face, but dare not move one inch, that wussy huge dog

Afterthought

2006-04-20T14:48:00.000+08:00

When I get a scolding out of the blue, I'll know when he had read the previous posting :P

Spring Cleaning

2006-04-20T14:06:00.000+08:00

I just realised I am in a more adult relationship than I had bargained for.

No pink candy floss nor white fluffy clouds; No silly moments and zero spoilt-brat quota (PMS exempted provided I give in proper documentations). And hell no Ferrero Rocher bouquets.

Arguments aplenty, naturally.

Who says I am not growing up, huh?

I woke

2006-03-07T11:34:00.000+08:00

你說你們能夠幫對方完成未出口的句子，
你說你們兩個會為同一件事發笑。

『呵呵，聽起來似曾相似哦!』

甜甜的笑凝在臉上，眼眶好像有些酸。

我是真心為你高興的。
真、的。

（如同我真心的很想問你，卻也真心的拼命不讓自己問出口:
那她會逗你笑嗎?）

我從一個太長的懵懂中走出來，
發現，原來世界一直沒有停止運轉。

Another ad

2006-02-13T10:44:00.000+08:00

It's weird. The ad I put below received no interests other than from the person who the ad is for, and random guy who I have no idea what his intention is. Yet, I have received another request to help seek a mate.

Don't ask me, I don't get it either.

*******************************************

Male Duck seeking girlfriend.

Low maintenance.
Non-ducks ok.
Need to appreciate butt jokes and withstand mean yet accurate remarks (only when drunk)

Duck is extremely romantic.
A young boy duckling disguised in mature, good looking ducky appearance.

Leave comments below if interested

An Ad

2006-01-19T17:57:00.000+08:00

男子一名,
相貌堂堂, 玉樹臨風
師奶殺手也 (不出手則矣, 一出手可是殺奶不眨眼)
模特兒身材, 有頭有手有腳, 且都長在該長的地方
文武雙全, 文可素描油畫, 武則神準三分投籃(註一)
耐心絕佳, 大至陪你整晚喝悶酒, 小至幫忙訓練寵物大小便都毫無怨言

徵求願意陪他看月亮及等日出的女伴　
高矮不拘, 長短髮皆可
長像若可與Hebe相較量是最好,不然也不挑

(註一但是若無美女在旁觀看則是每投每不準)

有意者請在此留言,
機會難得,
動作要快,
請大家告訴大家.
(來亂的請回家自行面壁思過三日,
惡作劇是不好滴行為)

Just asking

2006-01-18T01:08:00.000+08:00

What are you doing?
Where are you going?
Who are you going with?
What are you writing?
When are you sleeping tonight?
Why are you smiling?
Why do you rather talk to him rather me?
Why am I not in the picture?
Why do you not tell me what that means?

Why do you ask so much?
Because I care.

Why do you never ask?
Because I trust.

2006-01-15T20:59:00.000+08:00

摩天輪下的失望

我是個心數不正的人, 我承認.

從來沒看過充氣娃娃長的如何模樣, 所以看到嘴巴下有個孔的布丁狗面紙盒我以為是可愛版的情趣玩具; 因為不捨得愛犬的情慾不得滿足 (by the way, 我家大帥犬Buddy現在最哈的是隔壁米店的老公狗黃金獵犬...), 而有動過替牠masterbate的念頭 (先聲明, 這主意是打到跟我同樣寵狗, 但是才不管寶貝Buddy是發情還是發瘋的哥哥身上..人家畢竟是女生咩);出於好奇, 所以去泡露天風呂時眼睛會很不知好歹的四處瞟蕩而終於看見象婆婆而回家多做了一星期的惡夢...

那天在美麗華商場內逛, 越逛越無聊. 店家裝潢都出於同名師之手也就罷了, 可是連商品都大同小異可就有點太不體貼客人... 迷了方向連個可認的路標都沒有. 直到一個商標驀然的讓我煞住了腳步: "LP Zone". 一把扯住了身旁走得堂堂正正, 挺胸踏步的Vic: "你看!"(亂了他一身郭靖大俠的威風, 真是抱歉)

不好意思, 是我想太多了...人家是IP Zone啦!

(為了我的胡思亂想, 我很想替IP Zone打點廣告...可是, 抱歉, 自從我發現他其實有個很正當的店名之後, 就再也沒看第二眼....我猜, 可能跟通訊產品會扯上些關係吧! 請大家多多支持!!)

Thoughts at 2.52am

2005-12-28T18:52:00.000+08:00

I woke up in the middle of the night. There was a dream. It seemed to be about granddad, I am not sure. The harder I try to recall my dream, the hazier it got.

There were hustlings from outside my door. I was excited. My aunt said she heard granddad's footsteps on the third night, maybe tonight he was doing something much more than just walking.

Then the distinct dangling of Buddy's chain became apparent. Yep, not granddad, just Buddy.

Just Buddy, humping on a pillow.

Buddy was on high trying to use the pillow as an inflatable doll. He didn't even bother to wag his tail at me. He was busy trying out different positions. Speaking from an objective, human point of view, the pillow was not quite the substitute for a bitch.

I went back to my room. Not before long, I heard rippings.

Rushing back out to the living room, I saw that Buddy had ripped off one end of the pillow. The pillow was now his inflatable doll.

I slapped Buddy on his snout, fought with him for his sex toy (he was never this persistent on protecting any of his food or toys before) and went back to my room again. But now I wonder whether what I do is right. Buddy is but a teenage male. Isn't it bad enough that we don't allow him to have a girlfriend, let alone not giving him a channel to let out his sex drive?

Two fifty two in the morning, I am concerned about my dog's sex life.

Oh by the way, Charles, I would strongly recommend you to bring back your own pillow when you come home this weekend.

In Memory Of Him

2005-12-13T03:32:00.000+08:00

This is me studying Stats

2005-11-12T06:15:00.000+08:00

2005-11-11T06:30:00.000+08:00

蒼蠅跟烏鴉

"Born to Fly"

Dear Beta,

隨意的瀏覽著我欣賞的作家的文字 (就是不想讀書),
撞到了這一句,
想到了你.

就是在說你.

你想做鷹, 你說.

(無意中透露了你自己從不承認的傲氣...
平平都是鳥, 你為什麼不想做鴿子或烏鴉?!
一樣都會飛, 你為什麼不選擇蒼蠅?!)

你想自由, 你想不受束縛,
你想一個人從冷冽的高空睥睨世界.

你嚮往著飛行, 從很早開始就井井有條的為自己做飛行的準備.

我相信你會飛的.

Because you were born to fly.

2005-10-27T01:37:00.000+08:00

柴米油鹽醬醋茶

Maybe we were both wrong.

Maybe I should have packed you up then. Pack up with you the happiest of my times, the most innocent of my youth, the purest of myself, the softest of my heart.

You are no longer a lover. You are much much more than that. You are so deeply entwined with my soul, you are a part of me, more than you realise.

Through your pain, I experienced what it feels like to have a knfe stab into, and twist around three times in my heart. What is worse, it is my own hand doing all of that.

Yes, I should have packed you up.

Pick up the memories scattered all over Sydney, place them neatly in the chamber inside the heart that was torn apart. The heart will fibrose itself up, that is the wonder of human body...layers and layers of tissues wound around to protect it from further ado.

But I don't want it to....I want to pack you, not to seal you... That is the last little bit of childishness within me.

Me contributing to the world

2005-10-09T01:37:00.000+08:00

I was inspired by Helena's blog to make contributions on my own site for the greater good of the world. So here, I start by sharing the wisdoms shed upon me by many kind souls throughout time:

Charles' tip on stopping hiccup:
1. Rub head in circular motion with one hand
2. Rub stomach in the opposite direction with the other hand
3. Chant "I am full" continuously
(The above 3 instructions should be performed simultaneously until hiccup stops)

Tips on roach problem at home:

Upon sighting of roach,
1. Scream for Charles (Sometimes might be necessary to grab his whold body and scream into the ears)
2. If Charles is not at home at that critical time, try Melody's method

Charles' tip on roach problem -
1. Corner the cockroach and electrocute it using the electrocuting racquet thingy designed for mosquitoes (Does not work on big cockroaches -- see warning)
** WARNING **
IF NOT DONE PROPERLY, BUG MIGHT FLY AND MAKE YOUR HEART BEAT AT TWICE ITS NORMAL SPEED

Melody's tip on roach problem -
1. Grab purse and keys and head towards the nearest mall
2. Shop for at least 2 hours and hope by the time you get home, the cockroach would have disappeared

Tip on program debugging:

I know it is ironic for me to be giving out programming advice, but this one has been verified by almost all in CSE, and is proving to be very popular indeed:
Swear statements
(May be put all over the place, or as needed depending on how much one is about to kill ownself)

Ikea's Umbrella

2005-10-08T16:28:00.000+08:00

張維中用過一把便利商店的雨傘來形容他故事內的男主角:

"晴朗時誰也不會在店裡看它一眼，只有下雨忘記帶傘時不得不只好買一把，撐在人群中也放棄思考它究竟好看還是不好看"

讀到這個比喻時覺得形容於我身上實在是再貼切不過了. 只是相對於便利商店的傘來說, 我更寧願是把Ikea所賣的傘. Ikea的傘, 完全是功能上的設計: 大大的鮮黃的傘面, 罩個三,四人沒問題....說實在, 是醜到不行.

在 Ikea, 傘是這麼賣的: 五塊錢一把, 下雨天兩塊. 我喜歡這種貼心....即使是最不引人注目的商品 , 在被需要的時候, 仍是儘己所能的方便他人

只是...只是...可以的話, 我還是會謝絕那個很可怕的黃色的

2005-09-12T12:19:00.000+08:00

自作自受

"我剛剛參加了葬禮....現在真的是甚麼也沒有了"

誰的葬禮?

"是我自己的葬禮吧. 是的, 是我自己的....."

"我的守護天使飛走了"

-- 張曼娟, "寄給你的明信片"

翻了N次的章節....驀然的讀懂了, 字間中的絕望

Chinese Lover's Day, Part III

2005-08-19T14:09:00.000+08:00

那天走在Shopping Mall裡, 目光被櫥窗內展示的一個小矮桌吸引住.

是那種其實很常見的小早餐桌. 讓你能窩在溫暖的被子裡頭, 舒服慵懶的享受一頓早點. 電影裡常常出現的.

正當我在兀自妄想, 旁邊的男生冒出了一句:

"啊~~~ 好想要有一個那個小桌子哦"

還在剎然之間, 另一個男生也發聲附和.

原來, 不管金星跟水星的距離多遙遠, 民風多截然不同, 內心所渴望的溫暖, 是一致的:

喂! 對面星球的人,
起床幫我做早餐吧!

Chinese Lover's Day, Part II

2005-08-19T13:41:00.000+08:00

一個女生曾經給我看過ㄧ本漂亮的相簿: 裡頭她細細的打理, 珍藏著她與前任男友一起擁有過的回憶. 除了相片, 大頭貼之外, 更收納了舊的電影票根, 兩人上課時所傳的紙條, 情書等等. 並且在旁邊一一記述當下實景及心情.

我乍看之刻是又驚訝又佩服的. 一直知道她是個面面俱到的女孩, 只是沒想到細膩到這等境界. 一直看到她對感情的熱情, 只是沒看到更高貴的那份虔誠.

然而印象最深的是, 當我問是否會讓現任男友看那本相簿, 她酷酷的回答:

"怎麼可能?
如果他知道他以後也會變成一本,
豈不瘋掉?"

Who says I don't watch ESPN?

2005-07-09T23:22:00.000+08:00

Ok, I admit that I know nothing about sports. I don't know the differnce between pool and snooker; I cannot tell rugby from rugby union (let alone the million other deviations that I THINK exit) and I plainly don't understand why cricket is even played.

But nothing prepared me for when I accidentally tuned to ESPN and saw 2 guys running on floating logs.

That is a sport?!!!!

(apparently so)

Seriously, a sport with a name?!!!

(Men's Boom Run)

People are serious about this?!!!

(Well, everybody 'cept me, it seems. To quote ESPN: 'To say that nimble, nifty footwork is a prerequisite would be a gross understatement...boom runners have to match their unique athleticism with great fearlessness, for there are only two things a boom runner can hit if they have a misstep — the water or a log')

I believe I finally found a sport I understand.

Something about Buddy

2005-06-30T09:40:00.000+08:00

Buddy is the love of my life.

He's bald.

Maybe I should start from the beginning, even though where Buddy originates from is still a mystery. You see, Buddy is the puppy from my aunt's dog, the dog she claimed to be a pure-bred Netherlands deerhunter (Direct translation from '荷蘭獵鹿犬'). She claimed also that Buddy's father is another pure-bred Netherlands deerhunter. That would make Buddy a pure Netherlands deerhunter, correct? Well...Google told me there is no such dog. The vet says Buddy looks like "some kind of labrador"...whatever that means.

My aunt now says Buddy is a Big Savage Dog, (yes, she says it is a dog breed, not a description) and I am reserving my comments because you should always respect the elderly.

Buddy is certainly huge, but not savage at all. He maintains a friendly curiosity to all fellow animals, that include the family goldfish, the stray cats from the street and the annoying cockroaches. The attitude that would make the spirit of a daschhund dispise him. Happily, because Buddy's paws are so big (especially so from a cockroach's point of view), he usually slaps the roaches dead in his attempt to get to know them better.

At just 6 mongths old, Buddy is really still a puppy. Right now, the family anxiously await for him to pee on 3 legs. Jeremy says that part is innate, but after seeing Buddy peeing with his front leg up the last time, I am not so sure anymore. I am now trying to persuade my brother Charles to demonstrate to Buddy how it should be done.

Buddy got shaved off because mum needs new fun in her life. But the official explaination is to treat Buddy's fleas. The poor dog doesn't seem to know what happened to him though. Jeremy says from the photo, Buddy doesn't look happy at being shaved off...but that is just how he always look on photos. And after the shaving and cleaning ceremony, Buddy was on such high that he escaped outside to show off his new hair cut to the neighbours. (He freaked them out completely). I would put the photo up here but I got warned that would attract RSPCA people coming after me. (And also after so long of non-blogging, I now cannot work blogger to put images in the middle of the text)

Honestly he doesn't look that bad bald.

He just looks rediculous.

Welcome to our country! Here's a javelina!

2005-04-29T09:46:00.000+08:00

The hottest news in Taiwan right now is the Opposition leader's visit to China, since the KMT quarreled with the communists some sixty years ago.

To show their warmest welcome, Mr Lien will be received in the most respected and and honoured manner. It is beyond red carpet and 90 degree bows: He gets to bring home a pair of panda.

Only a handful of countries are advantaged this way. They have rare, adorable cuddly animals to be their ambassadors. Australia is another one, the late Pope John Paul II for example, was thrusted with a koala the second he stepped out of the plane when he visited in the late 1980s. (In the photo, both looked dumbfound)

Not very fair is it? I bet other countries would love to have animal ambassadors to replace out of date politicians. (Taiwan, for one, is in very bad need for an animal foreign minister whose worst public behaviour will only be scratching itself in the private areas) The cruel truth is, some country's native animal is just not cute enough.

I mean, I don't think millions of Americans will want to queue up to greet the extremely rare living fossil tuatara from New Zealand as they did when President Nixon brought them the Pandas Ling-ling and Sin-sin after his trip to China.

Or bathing monkeys from Japan.

Or Javelina from Mexico.....you get the drift.

Oh but don't you worry about the tuatara's feelings. Coming from the dinasour's generation, I think they rather be feared than to be cuddled.

女生的團性

2005-04-22T11:54:00.000+08:00

"他們分手了" 我說

"為什麼? 那麼好的女生..." 她們驚呼

"是女方提分手的"

"喔...." 她們的臉上寫滿了了然.

這是否也算是女生天性的一種? 我們會自動的第一時間假設男生個個都是負心漢. 而發現故事是相反的時候, 我們會由同仇敵氣到同情了解:本來嘛...那個男生根本不知道該如何對待她,拖了那麼久才分還是便宜到他了說!!

而事實上我們是先認識男方的

Jay Chou and Bucket of Cows

2005-04-19T20:56:00.000+08:00

I was recently introduced to Babel Fish, the AltaVista translator that has this incredible ability to turn anything random and stupid written in non-English into something poetic in English. For example:

今晚月亮好圓

Tonight moon good circle

Rosa's translation: The moon is round tonight

我看他不爽

I thought he is feeling well

Rosa's translation: That guy bugs me

有什麼不妥有話就直說
別窩在角落不爽就反駁
到底跩什麼懂不懂籃球
有種不要走三對三鬥牛

Has any not ready to have the speech to speak frankly
other nest to be feeling well in the quoin
on retort 跩 any cannot understand the basketball
to have plants do not have to walk three pairs of three bucket of cows

This is an excerp from Jay Chou's song which I am not going to translate. Although I should make it a point that the song is about basketball, not bucket of cows....however close.

How about something actually poetic:

一曲新詞酒一盃。去年天氣舊亭臺。夕陽西下幾時迴。
無可奈何花落去，似曾相識燕歸來。小園香徑獨徘徊。

A Qu Hsintz'u a liquor cup. Last year weather old pavilion. When west the setting sun under returns. Has no alternative the flower to fall, seems to have met before the swallow return. The small garden fragrant diameter alone paces back and forth.

Rosa's translation: This is a beautiful ancient Chinese poem written by an once Prime Minister in the Song Dynasty. So...forget it. No way am I ever going to be able to translate this one. Besides, you mean you don't get it from Babel Fish?

The Differences in levels

2005-04-19T12:03:00.000+08:00

張曼娟用虔誠的心情殲滅掉盤中美食.

張愛玲為了成全一段愛情陷滅了一座城市.

而我,
最多只能披頭散髮咬牙切齒的用托鞋一隻一隻滅掉廚房中囂張的蟑螂

Whats dangerous and eats nuts?

2005-04-17T17:27:00.000+08:00

I am currently under a lot of stress. In less than 12 hours I would be meeting with my supervisor and I have NOTHING to show her. I am so worried about the meeting and how I will make a total fool of myself in front of her and 3 other academics that I went to this website and found the following out about myself:

"Congratulations, you're syphilis!

Transmitted by direct contact with one of your infections (usually through unprotected sex), you're one nasty STD! In your initial stages, you cause sores, usually on the genitals or in the rectum, but that's only the delicious beginning. Later on, you'll cause a rash, and then slip away ... but you won't be gone. No no, my friend. You're far too cunning.

You'll still pass yourself on to anyone the poor soul you've infected has sex with (anal, vaginal or oral), and you'll start to erode their muscles and nerves! In fact, you'll eventually lead, if left untreated, to malcoordination, blindness, paralysis, dementia and then death!

And that's not all - if you infect a pregnant women, you'll also be passed to their child! A single shot of penicillin will kill you, but shhhhh .. I won't tell anyone if you won't."

Rat cells and I

2005-04-15T11:37:00.000+08:00

In continuing the stream of scary pictures on the blog, I introduce to you the subject of my recurring nightmares, the source of my misery, the cause of my depression, the reason behind my suicide:

Blog, PC12 cells. PC12, Blog.

Sure they are small. And look fairly harmless. But I assure you, they can give torture like no other.

Much to my supervisor's dismay, I still don't know very much about these cells. But I shall tell you what I know about them here. They are tumorous rat neurons that are terribly vulnerable to infection attacks (a major potential hazard in my way to a degree) and they love to clump together which annoys my supervisor thus another threat to my graduation. Normally, they should look like the roundish blobs you see above (actually, they should be "irregularly shaped" but whatever). If you feed to them this expensive chemical like I do called NGF, or Nerve Growth Factor, however, they grow long protrusions like what you see in the centre of the picture.

Or they are supposed to. Obviously they are doing anything but that in my experiment.

On the plate where I grow my cells and feed them NGF, instead of differenciating (i.e. growing their processes), they are multiplying (something they are NOT supposed to do because I am not feeding them anything to encourage proliferation), quickly filling up the area and making the plate to look like the "surface of Mars", according to a random passer by who was probably disappointed when I told him that was no Mars he was seeing.

Since this is the debut appearance of PC12 on the blog, I shall say only nice things about it.

...

Ok I give up. I have nothing more to say.

Love at first sight

2005-04-12T13:17:00.000+08:00

Meet Blythe, cousin of Bride of Chuckie.

Ok she is not really. She is just an overly expensive doll (ranging from $AUD200 to somewhere rediculously above $AUD200) that has been around for almost 33 years and has surprising numbers of fans (mature women mostly...women who share the common claim "It's love at first sight")

Blythe was born in 1972, and did in fact freak out children when she first appeared because of her out of proportioned head with the equally out of proportioned eyes that can flap open and close. One year after her debut appearance, the production was shut down (probably due to health hazards it caused....ranging from vomitting to heart attack) for the next 30 years. That would have been it for her, (ah...if only) except the Japanese came along and through weird taste, bought the company and managed to make Blythe the hottest collectible amongst Asian women.

I have been told more than once that I have taste different to the common mass out there. But really?! Love at first sight?! To me, it is more like, Aaaaah-O-My-Gosh-Get-Away-From-Me at first sight.

Apparently, you can buy separate parts for the doll on the internet to suit different occasions. Yup, you can actually bid for her hair, her arm to even her eyeball (a tip to those who are not as financially abled, if you want a late-night look for your Blythe, just substitute for the chuckie doll eyeball...its much cheaper!) on eBay!

I would willingly pay $200 so I never see her again.

The bells. The songs. The chants

2005-04-08T15:39:00.000+08:00

...in his loving memory

鐘聲. 歌聲. 口號聲

世界昨日送走了一位偉人.

隆重而莊嚴的禮儀, 在第三個千禧年中, 用最古老的傳統在全球的矚目下, 淚水中, 完成了. 說起來也真了不起, 不同國家, 不同宗教, 不同理想的幾百萬人聚集在小國家內, 廣場中, 致敬他. 禮儀進行中不時有陣陣掌聲響起, 義大利的動人傳統, 代表著尊崇和緬懷.

我是透過電視的實況轉播觀禮的, 十萬八千里的距離外還是無法抑制住泊泊留下的眼淚.

喪禮完成了. 一星期的悲傷, 應該就在嘹亮的鐘聲中漸漸淡去. 可是為什麼我的難過, 越來越深?

Google and the rest

2005-04-08T00:01:00.000+08:00

gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooogle!

This is a list I stole from Vic's blog of things that Google do:

通報 http://www.google.com/alerts
問答 http://answers.google.com
型錄 http://catalogs.google.com
分類 http://www.google.com/dirhp
學者 http://scholar.google.com
購物 http://froogle.google.com
群組 http://groups-beta.google.com/grphp
影像 http://images.google.com
試驗系統 http://labs.google.com
地理資訊 http://www.google.com/lochp
新聞 http://www.google.com/nwshp
特藏 http://www.google.com/options/specialsearches.html
大學 http://www.google.com/options/universities.html
無線 http://www.google.com/options/wireless.html
電郵 http://gmail.google.com
部落格 http://www.blogger.com
桌面搜尋 http://desktop.google.com
圖片管理 http://www.picasa.com
語言選擇 http://www.google.com/language_tools
衛星影像 http://www.keyhole.com
工具列 http://toolbar.google.com
程式介面 http://www.google.com/apis
原版介面 http://www.google.com

Now you notice, most of the services, you can easily tell they belong to the Google group. However, google seems to have missed a couple things. Now, I reckon, if you want to do things right, you should keep the trend going, in which case....

Blogger should become Bloogle
Picasa should become Poogle
and Keyhole should become Koogle and so on

.....and THAT is the reason why I will never be hired by Google

2005-04-07T22:45:00.000+08:00

wiggly the taiwanese way

Beauty and the Ughs

2005-04-07T02:29:00.000+08:00

Just found out that in the Australian entertainment industry, the very top earner for year 2004 are The Wiggles, rolling in $5 million dollars more into their pockets than the beautiful and graceful Nicole at $45 million dollars.

"You've gotta be kidding" was what came onto my mind.

I have to admit, I don't know The Wiggles at all. So I might have missed their charm that secretly yet prominently radiates out under the overly happy, always excited look to the Aussie crowd. Truthfully, they give me the creeps, but that is beside the point. The point is, YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING!!

Google took me to The Wiggle's official website (...they actually have unofficial websites?!), which has a purple welcoming page, how fitting, and The Wiggles personally greeted me into their 'wiggly' website. A closer look at the 4 middle-aged looking, not overly handsome men in bright coloured shirts did not give me more insights into their appeals, although Google did give me another surprise: The Taiwanese are so impressed of their success that we actually have our very own Taiwanese Wiggles who are equally gay and creepy!!

Maybe I am better off not knowing these things.

ADSL at dial up speed

2005-04-05T00:32:00.000+08:00

Internet is at snail speed.

I blame Koala for it